Being a mother is learning about strengths you didn’t know you had…and dealing with fears you didn’t know existed.
I have learned so much about myself since I conceived my son. I learned I really don’t like laying around after the first three days (I was on bedrest for most of my pregnancy), and that nesting starts for me around 23 weeks. I discovered I have way more patience than I ever thought I had, and that I can survive on 2 hours of sleep in three days. I learned that I have a hard time accepting defeat when I really have my mind set on something (like breastfeeding), and that I will feel bad about things for way longer than I need to.
I also learned I’m a lot braver than I thought. When my son repeatedly tried to make his appearance starting at 28 weeks, I didn’t break down. I didn’t cry. I just nodded my head and decided that what would be, would be. I knew God had a plan for my son and I.
Even with that bravery, though, I discovered new fears. I learned that I will probably obsessively check and re-check my son’s carseat straps until he no longer needs one. I learned that I will not be able to sleep on nights when he has a fever, for fear that it will suddenly spike and I won’t wake up. I discovered that even when I get the much-needed and wanted weekend away from my son, I will still worry about him and have a hard time relaxing.
Being a mother is hard, but I have grown so much as a person. I have learned so much in the past year, and I am infinitely grateful for that. I love knowing that as my son is growing and developing his personality, so am I.
Be on the lookout for my Day Nine post, and feel free to share yours below!