Lately I’ve been feeling a little bit lost. I thought I had my future figured out: I’m working on earning by Bachelor’s Degree of Social Work, and I want to become a licensed social worker. I wanted to finish my BSW and put my career on hold for a year or two, because I want to homeschool my son for the first year or two of elementary school. Then I would go to work, maybe as a case worker in the mental health field or in gerontology. I had a whole plan for my life, and suddenly I feel like it’s all crumbling around me. Maybe there’s a good reason for that: Proverbs 16:1 is pretty straightforward:
To humans belong the plans of the heart,
but from the Lord comes the proper answer of the tongue.
Now I’m questioning if that’s what I want to do. I feel like I’m just going through the motions at school. For several years I felt like I had found my passion, but now I’m wondering if maybe I was wrong. Is that really God’s plan for me? To sit behind a desk doing endless amounts of paperwork, barely able to help people because of bureaucratic red tape and societal limitations?
I don’t know any more. But I also don’t know what I would do, instead. So I’ve been praying to God, asking for guidance in finding my purpose. And I do know I have one; after all, Jeremiah 29:11 says the following:
For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope.
I can’t figure out what the Lord’s plan for me is, and that bothers me. I’m a control freak to the core; I like having everything planned out in minute details. I’m a micro-manager. Not knowing what I’m going to do with my life makes me nervous and apprehensive.
Waiting on the Lord to reveal His plan for me is hard, but I know I’m not the only one. In Isaiah 40:31, God tells the people of Babylon:
but they who wait for the Lord shall renew their strength;
they shall mount up with wings like eagles;
they shall run and not be weary;
they shall walk and not faint.
I know I have to wait for the Lord to reveal His plan for me; He isn’t going to do it at my demand. Instead, I need to be patient. Sometimes that may be easier said than done, but in the meantime I can–and should–pray for help in doing so. God will reveal his plan to me eventually; I just have to wait.
Do you have trouble waiting for the Lord to reveal His plan for you? Meditate on Proverbs 3:1-12, and feel free to share your thoughts below.